People who have not yet experienced a life changing tragedy have a certain quality about them which I’m calling innocence, although I’m not sure that’s the word I’m looking for. This innocence causes them to think bad things only happen to other people, somewhere else. They also think that when tragedy does strike these other people, that they eventually “get over it.” They use terms like “move on” and “find closure.” They don’t realize that our lives are forever changed and that we don’t even want to get over it. They don’t mean any cruelty. They just don’t know. I hope they never do.

I think it’s a lot like what our nation experienced with the death of President Kennedy in my generation and with the 9/11 attacks in the present generation. That is when we discovered that we didn’t have any special protection. The worst really could happen. We really could lose everything.

Cameron, I miss you. I wish you were here. When the other kids have a happy experience, I want you to have it too. You were very happy, and your life was very full–just too short!

Books were sent to Safe Place in Morrilton, Frink Chambers Elementary in Mcalester Oklahoma, River Valley Shelter for Battered Women and Children in Russellville, First United Methodist in Harrison, Cherished Heartbeat in Heber Springs, and Women and Children First in Little Rock. It is nice to give in Cameron’s name. Derrick.

Today is Cameron’s birthday. She is not here to celebrate it. She was born in the year 2000, so it is always easy to remember how old she would have been. 9 this year. Wow. A 9 year old. That sounds so old.
The last birthday party we got to celebrate with Cameron was a princess party. All her little friends came over dressed as their favorite princesses. We had little Snowwhites and Cinderellas, Tinkerbelles, and Sleeping Beauties! They were all so precious. Cameron would not wear her princess costume. In fact, we had several and she wouldn’t wear any of them. She said they all itched. I was irritated with her. Here we had all these little princesses and she was supposed to be the head princess, but she wouldn’t dress the part. She wore her Easter dress– pink and frilly. She was my little princess, anyway!
Today, I don’t know what kind of party she would want. It is a beautiful day. The weather always cooperated for us on Cam’s bdays. She was always happy, and appreciative. I wish she were here. I miss her…
Today we will plant our little garden outback. My parents are coming over to help. I’ve got to take Kennedy and Brooklynn to dance recital practice first. And then we’ll get started. It won’t look like much at first because the tree and plants I ordered are dormant. That means that don’t really look like plants and trees right now, but should in a few months. This is a new experience for me, so we’ll see. Keep your fingers crossed that it turns out!
We’ll be sending balloons to Cameron at sunset. It’s the only way I know to send her anything that seems to head in the right direction. She is my little angel now. God has her. I ache for her. I love my baby. Happy Birthday in Heaven.
Love, Mama

May is a special and difficult month for our family. It is Cameron’s birth month. May 13 is the day she was born. It was actually the day before Mother’s Day and her first birthday was on Mother’s Day. You know, losing a child does not take away from the fact that you are a mother. I remember after Cameron died, I struggled with the question “How many children do you have?” I always wanted to say three, but I didn’t want to have to explain it or make the person feel awful for asking a standard question. I felt guilty saying two, like Cameron somehow didn’t count. Then I had Carington. I was able to answer 3 again, but it still didn’t feel quite right. I never had four children at one time, but I did have four babies. And I am still the mother of four girls. Losing a child just makes everything more difficult, even the simplest of questions.
I remember thinking how hard it would be if Cameron had been my only child. Not that it wasn’t impossible to begin with, but really, what would you say? You have an empty nest, you ache for your child, and you struggle with the issue of whether or not you really are even still a mother. That sounds unbearable, unimaginable. Yet, I know there are some mothers out there who struggle with this pain.
To those mothers I will say, “You are a mother, still. You are a mother yesterday, today, tomorrow, and always. You have a beautiful child and she is looking after you now. She is waiting for you. You must have hope, you must have faith. You must hold your head up high. You did a good job. And you loved your baby well. You didn’t deserve to lose your child. But you do deserve to be happy and whole. God loves you.”

We are headed to McAlester on Friday to celebrate Cameron’s life. We are also planning to plant a tree and flower garden on her birthday. Finally, Derrick and his friends are celebrating the 4th annual Cameron Averitt Bobbitt Memorial Golf Tournament. Thanks Guys!

Remember to send books or support the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund. It is a great way to show your love for Cameron, and for us. It is a great way to help children. And you can even honor your mom in giving!

We got a wonderful shipment of great books from our friends, the Sealy’s. They currently reside in Washington, D.C. but will be moving to Alabama soon!! They were our next door neighbors in McAlester. They have 3 girls and the older 2 were some of Cameron’s first friends! She loved playing with you two!
I want to thank Emma Cate Adams from Franklin, TN. So good to see you guys and thanks for the load of books. Looking forward to seeing you guys next week when I visit Carrie.
My best friend had a little baby girl last month and I get to go meet Ms. Chloe Grace in about 10 days. Can’t wait to see the little angel!
We recently made some new friends, the Hapgoods and the Wagstaffs, here in Fayetteville. They dropped a parcel of books on the doorstep a couple of weeks back. They knocked and ran! It was so funny. Thanks, guys.
Also, some relatives have contributed great books in the past month. I received a nice batch from my cousin Jill. I am so happy for Jill in her new upcoming role in life. Also, my Aunt Dottie, who teaches 2nd grade. Thanks for the Scholastic order! That is a great way to donate books.
Another 2nd grade teacher that I haven’t met but who heard about us from her relative (and our friend) also did a Scholastic order to donate books. Her name is Bette Winegar. We really appreciate you doing that for us in honor of your daughter’s birthday.
I am looking forward to a trip to McAlester next month and gathering the books from their annual book drive. That is spearheaded by our friend Heather Horton. She teaches preschool at Jefferson Elementary.
We received 2, $100 dontations to the Cameron Averitt Bobbitt Memorial Fund. These were from our dear friends Lee and Jennifer Johnson, and Mike and Rebecca Swan. These parents all know about challenges and pain, and we truly appreciate you remembering us and Cameron.

Senator Ted Kennedy has some thoughts on grief.  He is a man who is well acquainted with the subject!

“You try to live in the upside and the positive aspects of it, the happier aspects and the joyous aspects, and try to muffle down the other kinds of concerns and anxiety and the sadness of it, and know that you have no alternative but to continue on.”
“The passage of time never really heals the tragic memory of such a great loss, but we carry on, because we have to, because our loved one would want us to, and because there is still light to guide us in the world from the love they gave us.”

These quotes were found in the new biography Last Lion:  The Fall and Rise of Ted Kennedy.   Anyone who has experienced grief, and that would be all of us, will recognize the truth of these statements.

As I have more time to read now that I’m retired, I find comfort and inspiration from many varied books.

A young boy named Mattie Stepanek who died of a rare form of muscular distrophy wrote a wonderful book called Just Peace with the help of his mother and his hero, Jimmy Carter.  He had this helpful phylosophy of life:  “Always remember to play after every storm.”

I found this quote in a book called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer:  “Small griefs are loquacious.  The deeper griefs are quiet.”  Those may not be the exact words because I couldn’t find the quote when I looked back for it!  It seems to fit in with what I’ve been thinking, which is that some griefs are too deep for words or even tears.  My grief over Cameron is one of those deep griefs.

Right now I’m enjoying the most beautiful snow of the season!

We have been so blessed lately with the reciept of several loads of books. Our friend, Scott Harris, at Game On Promotions in Fayetteville got his co-workers to collect books in February. Yesterday Derrick and I went over and picked them up. There were so many nice children’ books that we can now pass on to others!
Little Jack Baldwin of Springdale collected quite a few books at his 3rd birthday party. What a wonderful little boy to forfeit gifts for himself to donate books for children who need them more. Thank you so much!
Also, thanks to my patients Rylee Youngblood and Kaitlyn Clifton who drive in from Oklahoma just to see me. You guys make my day. Thank you for bringing me books today. I appreciate you always remembering Cameron!
Derrick packaged up 5 parcels of books today with all these generous donations. These went to St. Francis House in Springdale, Benton Co. Women’s Shelter, Family Network in Springdale, Kids First in Fort Smith and Peace at Home Family Shelter in Fayetteville. These lucky children appreciate your donations. We feel so blessed to be able to make these book donations in memory of our precious daughter. Your generosity makes our mission possible. With love, The Bobbitts

Go to the photos tab and check out our pictures from Jan 18-19, 2009. You’ll be able to see all the friends and family who participated. Also, check us out delivering books and sharing them with kids!

We are happy to be sending parcels of books to the following organizations: Christway Community Services, Marion, AR/ OPEN Arms, Lonoke, AR/ Center For Children– ACH, Lowell, AR/Holly Street Daycare, Nashville, TN/ and Benton Co. Sunshine School, Rogers, AR.