Today is the day– Heaven day. It is the very day four years ago that Cameron was taken from me. It is hard to believe. It has only been four years, it seems like a life time. Only four years since I stood in that little street and looked down at my broken baby. Only four years since I felt my heart break/ my world crashing down on me. Only four years since I had to face the grimmest of realities, a life without my precious child.
How long ago and yet so recent. That event so cruel that stole my innocence and security. I never spent a moment not worrying and protecting my children and yet I still lost. I still ended up a mom who couldn’t keep her baby safe. I still can’t believe it.
It’s cruel, it’s ironic, its unfathomable. I can’t be grateful. Its not okay. I felt angry and abandonned and alone. I felt betrayed by the very reality I thought I knew. I wasn’t pure enough or faithful enough to accept it without a fight. And yet I wasn’t given a choice. I was not asked if I could handle this. I was just slammed in the face with horror.
It isn’t pretty and there is no way to sugar coat it. I can grow and evolve and be brave. But I can’t understand and I can’t explain it away. I can’t put it all into simple terms that make sense. I can’t find the silver lining. I can’t find answers to questions I didn’t choose to ask.
But that is not the end. I am still here. I am still a mother, a doctor, a sister, a daughter, a wife. I still exist. I have choices to make.
One thing that helps is that I have amazing friends and family. I am surrounded by loved ones who lift me up and support me. I am amazed by the positive effect that you all have on my life. You have raised my head in the lowest of times. You have encouraged and prayed for me.
So for now all I know to do is to honor Cameron. I fight so that she will be remembered. I push to celebrate her life in any way I can. Derrick and I continue to promote Cameron’s Amazing Book Club. We share books with children and promote a legacy of reading. And we raise funds for the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund so we can help children and families. Our wonderful  friends and family continue to contribute both books and funds to help children in Cameron’s name.
“God is great, but sometimes life ain’t good. When I pray, it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should… But I do it anyway.”

Thanksgiving is a time for all of us to count our blessings. Two years ago, at Thanksgiving my mother shared a message she wrote with our family. It was about how the first Thanksgiving was put together in a time of extreme duress. But even though the pilgrims were tattered and torn, they still gave thanks to God for what they did have. She went on to compare that to our tragedy– the recent loss of Cameron. She reminded us to give thanks even though we were so blinded by our loss that we couldn’t even perceive our blessings.
Looking back two years into the past, I realize how far we have all come. At that time I didn’t know if I would survive. I felt certain at any time I could have a nervous breakdown and be done with! I wasn’t sure if I had faith, if I could even count on the miracle of Jesus. I was completely lost. Now, I know that I have blessings. I know that I have so much good in my life that I can go forward. And with my faith restored, I know that I can and will see Cameron again one day!
I am first and foremost thankful for my family. I have three living and beautiful girls who love me so dearly. Whenever I come home from anything– 10 hours at work or 5 minutes to the gas station– I am greeted with hugs and shouts of “Mama’s home!” They are smart and loving and affectionate and empathetic. They fill my heart with love! My husband is truly the best father I could hope for with my girls. He is silly, yet stern. He is able to make them laugh or cry. He chases them until they are all exhausted. He reads to them, serves thems, and holds them. My parents are a true joy. I love spending time with them. They are a perfect example of a life-long happily married couple. Inspirational! Derrick and I both have great brothers and sisters who make us laugh and stand up for us when we need them!
I am also truly grateful to be living the dream of having a solo practice. It has been amazing to be able to put my touch on a clinic, to practice the way I feel in my heart is the right way for me. My patients love it. My staff loves it. And I love it. I am so blessed to have these little childen walk through that door and into my heart!
I am thankful for the opportunity to good in Cameron’s name. This month we made three distributions from CAB Memorial Fund. One of the donations was $500 to EOA Children’s House in Fayetteville. Derrick and I took the check personally, met the director and toured the facility. This is an organization that is changing the lives of abused and neglected children. They desperately need a new building, and our contribution is going to help them build it. Our donation will allow Cameron to have a brick with her name on it in this new facility.
I sobbed as we drove away from that place. Not only did I sob for those adorable little children– who looked just like regular kids, but had been through horrible domestic situations. But I sobbed because Cameron gets to help them have a better life. Derrick reminded me that when we lost Cameron he asked why this couldn’t have happened to a child who didn’t have such a great life. Why God would take Cameron from her happy home, but leave a child who is being beaten and neglected on earth to suffer. But we saw these kids as real people, children who have hope for a better life. All children deserve that. I am truly thankful for the gift of Hope. Hope is so important. There are times when we all feel we have lost our way. But as long as we have hope, we can find our way back to the light that is God. We can find our blessings both here on earth and in the life that is to come.
Happy thanksgiving!

Tim and Natalie Carr of Nashville, TN supported the CAB Memorial Fund with a generous donation. We are so grateful for the love and continued support of our wonderful friends. Thanks again, guys!
We love ya!

Thanks to Lisa Garvin, Lee Anne Bryan, and Leigh Ann Travis who made holiday donations to the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund. As a reminder, this endowment supports charities that benefit children and families. Our mission is to help other kids in Cameron’s name. These women are filled with (Delta) love!! Thanks, ladies! I miss you.

I just went back and reviewed the list of all the donors to Cameron’s Memorial Fund over the past year.  What a blessing!  I am so thankful that we have friends and family who love us and want to help us remember Cameron.  Please know that I do appreciate each and every donation.  I sometimes forget to post on the blog the details about each gift.  But I know of your generosity and am truly thankful. 

It is so easy to get bogged down in the daily grind.  I know that I, for one, am tired and busy.  I forget to slow down and appreciate people and gifts from above.  I am thankful for hope.  Hope has saved me from myself.  It has never allowed me to get too low.  No matter how sad or angry I have ever been, I have always had a glimmer of hope.  I pray the same is true for you.  Merry Christmas to everyone.  You are loved.

Susan

Cameron’s Memorial Fund continues to grow.  We have received donations from the Wingert famiily in Franklin, TN and Dr. Tim Carr from Franklin, TN; Susan Berry from McAlester, OK; and Lisa Garvin from Jackson, MS.    The fund is now an endowment  and we will be able to donate from the fund to children’s charities in the future.  Please let us know if you have a favorite children’s charity to which we we can consider contributing!

Thank you to John Richard from Greenwood, MS for your recent donation to the Cameron Averitt Bobbitt Memorial fund.  This fund makes charitable donations to nonprofit organizations that benefit children and families.  If you have a charity that you support with this type of purpose, let us know!  We would love to hear about ways we can help more children!

We want to say a special thanks to the donors of the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund.  They are listed below:

Bill Bobbitt

Evie Fithen

Christine Fortson

Amy and Evans McBride

Chris and Catherine Averitt

Melvin Huffman

Jack and Nancy Hoover

The Kurvinks

The Burlesons

Pat Hand

Mrs. Schulte

Allen and Norma Walker

Annette Bobbitt

Kim and Marty House

The Wilson Class at Asbury Methodist

Harry and Norma Galusha

William and Katherine Kincaid

Mary Jean and Dennis Creech

Chris and Allison Tanner

Greg and Maggie Langston

Warren Clinic McAlester Foundation

A special thanks to Rob and Diane Page

A special thanks to Eric and Ashlie Ardoin. 

Thanks to all who donated, it means a lot to both of us that we have people who care.

 Derrick and Susan, proud parents of Cameron Averitt Bobbitt.

We are so pleased that the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund is now endowed!  What does that mean?  It means that we have received an amount of contributions that has taken our fund to endowment status.  We have to have a minimum of $10,000 in the fund in order to be endowed.  Now that we are endowed, we can begin making charitable contributions to organizations that support children and families.  We will only make donations from the earnings, so the principal amount will be reinvested to earn more money.  As the fund grows over the years, so will the amount of money we can donate to others in Cameron’s name.  We owe a great debt of gratitude to all those who have contributed so far.  Please remember the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund when you consider charitable giving.  Your gift is tax deductible and goes to help children in need.  You can give by sending a check to the Fayetteville Community Foundation (Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund)/P.O. Box 997/Fayetteville, AR/72702

The Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund is an endowment started to help children’s charities in Cameon’s memory.  As Cameron’s parents, we will determine where the funds are donated.  We have coupled with the Fayetteville Communty Foundation– a non profit organization.   They will help us manage the fund.  If you or your corporation would like to donate money to the fund, your contributions will be tax deductible. 

 Please send your check to

Fayetteville Community Foundation/  P.O. Box 997/ Fayetteville, AR 72702

Make checks payable to FCF– and mark for the Cameron Bobbitt Memorial Fund.  FCF will notify us personally when your donation is received.  THANK YOU.