Today we went by and saw the new stone in the garden at the Walton Arts Center. Its from GrAnn-ma and Grandpa in memory of Cameron. It is so nice to have her honored in this way. She loved seeing shows at the Arts Center when she visited Northwest Arkansas. It is such a great place to experience the arts. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Thanks to Denise, Erick and E.J. for the great board books in honor of Cameron’s birthday. We couldn’t ask for better neighbors!!!

Dear Cameron– I miss you today and everyday. Most people say that I am so strong to have survived your death. I say, it is unfair and unreasonable to ask a mother– any mother, to survive without her child. It is not right to have to witness your child being injured and taking her last breath. But no one asked me. It just happened. I have survived, but not by choice.
You are missed for so many reasons, baby girl. I miss your smile. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss the way you looked at me as if you knew my heart. I miss getting to watch you grow up, see the changes that happen to you and because of you. I miss your life.
We all miss you. Me, Daddy, Kennedy, Brooklynn, GrAnn-ma and Grand-pa. What amazes me more than anything, though, is that Carington misses you. She truly loves you. She understands how special you were and even seems to know you. It’s so mature and just even spiritual in the way she talks of you and expresses love for you. At church she sometimes hears a sad or touching song and says, “this song makes me think about Cameron. I miss her.”
I am so proud of your family, Sweetheart. I hope that you can look down and see us. Your daddy has really become this phenomenal Dad. He is so involved in your sisters’ lives. He helps with homework, volunteers at the school, coaches all their sports. He is the best father I could ask for and you are the one that made him a dad. I thank you for being his first born child and creating this amazing parent for my children.
Kennedy is such a beautiful girl. She is empathetic and so good at making friends. She is athletic and smart. She is so much like you. She wants to make you proud. You were the big sister she looked up to and wanted to emulate. And she has, baby, in so many ways. I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming.
Brooklynn is my little free-spirited girl! She always seems to have a theme song playing in her head. She is constantly moving and “thinking”. She is so imaginative. She is sweet and cute and loving. She gives me great hugs. She is well liked by others. Remeber how you always made her laugh as a baby? Even when no one else could. And she looks a lot like you.
My little Carington Hope—she is truly my survival. She is one who pulled me out of my deepest, darkest place. She came along and I held her and held her. I poured my heart into loving her. Now she is filled with love and compassion and energy. She smiles and hugs everyone and they feel happy to know her. Her spirit seems like it comes from someplace otherworldly– and I know where that place is. I know that you are with her. She has a piece of you. And that keeps me going. Thank you for that.
I am so blessed to have a chance to be involved with families and children. I help them on their journey as families and I try to do the best I can for them. It is my honor to help take care of them. The babies and children that I see bring joy to their parents just as you brought me so much joy in my life. I do what I do to honor you and it is because of you that I am able to play that role in their lives. I never knew what I was doing until you came along. Now I get it– I know what it is to be a mom. And that makes me a better pediatrician.
Cameron, your effect on my life is immeasurable. Your life brought me so much happiness and pride. Your death has brought me more pain than I ever thought I could bear. But I wouldn’t trade one minute of the time we had together. I love you my dear, sweet angel.

Love always and forever,

Mama